ANNOYING STUDENT ALREADY CALLING PROFESSOR BY FIRST NAME

This article was originally published here. This article is satirical.

Eyewitnesses reported Tuesday that a UF student is somehow already referring to one of her professors by their first name.

Annie Brunose, 19, was only in the second week of her marketing class when her classmates noticed that she seemed to be on a first-name basis with their instructor, a fact which shocked and unnerved his classmates.

“I was walking out of class when I heard her talking, and I didn’t think much of it,”

Said Sean Gallows,19.

“But then I heard her say ‘it’s okay if I call you Jane, right?’ and my jaw almost hit the floor.”

Brunose said that she doesn’t understand why her friends and fellow students are surprised by her familiarity with the 52-year-old research professor. Brunose told reporters that almost every semester she makes an effort to ‘hang out’ with her professors during office hours and even said she usually adds them on Facebook.

“Professors are people too, you know,”

Brunose said, from the faculty lounge she appeared to have broken into.

“Just because I’m friends with my teacher doesn’t make me a suck-up.”

However, Brunose’s professor Jane Guardien seemed to completely disagree with her student’s sentiments. Guardien said that the sophomore arrived at her office an hour before the class was supposed to start and asked if she could help her get ready for the class.

“I get that the work force is more competitive than ever,”

Guardien said, who has since changed her office hours to appointment only.

“But any kid that’s going to come to me and pretend to be fascinated by a 22-page market research paper I wrote is a teacher’s pet even by my standards.”

Guardien reported that Brunose has since dropped her class after she rejected her request to go get tacos sometime and has switched to a section with a 24-year-old TA who was thrilled to have a student call her cool and ask about her graduate thesis.